King Of The Club
by Lil6ter
Summary: Up on the stage, he is King! He rules the women: lavishes in their cat calls and wanton words, and when the curtain falls, the next time that he graces the stage can’t come soon enough.


_Disclaimer: I love the only Inuyasha related thing I own. My cute little chibi inu key-chain which lives out its happy life on my iPod making fashion statements everywhere (Ha! Take that Parris Hilton! You want something hot? Then look at my iPod cuz it's so cute and knows how to accessorize.)_

King Of The Club

By Lil6ter

Up on the stage, he is King! He rules the women: lavishes in their cat calls and wanton words, and when the curtain falls, the next time that he graces the stage can't come soon enough.

His palms were slick with sweat in the humid adult nightclub. He had done this routine a thousand times, each sending a shiver of absolute euphoria up his spine as the people watched him in the crowd. He loved the way woman called out to him, threw money at his feet, wanted for him to come off of the stage and into their laps. He loved that sweet nirvana, even the nervousness that lead up to it every time he walked out there. When he went out there, he was the king of the club. He could hear the music start to play and his heart sped up, jumping into his throat.

It was time.

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me_

He swaggered onto the middle of the stage, his yellow eyes looking out at the crowd of women below him all shouting his name. It was such a blissful sound.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan_

The women in the crowd gasped as he slowly started to unbutton his shirt, flinging it open as he thrust his pelvis out to them. The were going wild, demanding more of his flesh and more of his silken moves, saturated with pure unadulterated sex on stage.

_And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing_

He walked up to a bar in the middle of the stage normally used for the women and grasped it with both hands, grinding into it as if it were a woman and he was making sweet, sweet love to her, showing her new heights that she had never reached.

_I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk_

He let go of the poll, listening to the song and walking to back to the point where he had entered from, letting his shirt drop from his shoulders to the stage bottom, hearing another delighted uproar from the crowd. He kicked his shirt into the crowd, watching with glee as women fought with each other to get it, ultimately tearing it into shreds. It is a good thing that he never liked that shirt.

_I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that_

He put both hands in front of himself, turning them as if he were driving a car. It was one of the most classic uncomfortable male dancing moves, but with the way he continued to thrust his hips to the music, he was sure that none of the women cared.

_I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

He let the music wash over him as he turned around once on the stage before undoing the first button on his pants, a collective scream washing over the entire area.

_I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my_

He unzipped the fly as his yellow gaze washed over the entire room, a smirk hiding the joy that he felt in that moment at being so loved by all of the women there.

_'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

He slipped the pants off, circling them over his head before they too flew out into the crowd. More women dove for the pants, and money was thrown at his feet as he faced the entire room clad in only his thong like underwear.

_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me_

Jaken thrust his hips out a few more times as the song came to a close and made to tug his undergarment off, but never did, leaving all of the women devastated as he struck a pose for the finale of the song.

_And I'm too sexy for this song _

Gods he loved dancing at strip clubs.

* * *

A/N: It was funny and you know it (even if it maimed you…). Won first at Inusongfics crack contest.


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